The Battle of “No”

My one and a half year old son’s favorite word is “no.” Raise your hand if you are the least bit surprised. No one? Shocker.

Sometimes it’s a subdued “nah” when I ask him if he wants to finish his dinner. Hey, at least he’s polite about it. Other times, it’s straight out of a scene from Jurassic Park. You know, the one where the Tyrannosaurus Rex chases after the Jeep? Except I’m being chased by an insane toddler who is SO mad that I won’t allow him to play with the broom (#meanestmomever). While I appreciate your desire to sweep, child, you are making a bigger mess and I’m going to have to wrestle this out of your hands later and then you’re going to throw the most epic tantrum ever, thankyouverymuch.

This week’s mind-blowing gift

Oh my word. Friends.

This week, a new, gorgeous, amazing promo video was gifted to me & “The Insatiable Quest for Beauty” ministry.

This video shares a little bit of my story, and what “The Insatiable Quest for Beauty” ministry is all about.

I. Am. In. Love!!

About Town Films expertly created this 4.5-minute video from about 4 hours of film time shot here in my apartment a few weeks ago. Light the City Network extravagantly sponsored this production, so it could be a gift to this ministry. And a wonderful new friend of mine, Madi, came and shared part of her story in the film, blowing me away.

I am almost beyond words, completely blessed and feeling so, so spoiled and like I could dance and revel in God’s goodness, in this gift.

I just have to share the video with you, because, I absolutely LOVE IT. I hope you enjoy it as well. 🙂

Love, Tiffany

When feeling discouraged in ministry

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” – Revelation 12:11 (KJV)

I so easily feel discouraged.

Lately I find myself almost dreading speaking engagements, instead of thoroughly anticipating them with excitement. The reason? Because I wonder if the message I’m sharing will touch hearts at all.

It doesn’t seem to matter in those moments that I’ve heard encouraging feedback from people. I automatically seem to push aside any positive feedback and think, “They’re just saying that to be nice.”

Apparently, I’ve forgotten that it’s not my job to touch every single heart every single time.

A Church that Says Hello

It all started at the beginning of tour.

Jen (my intern) and I were at the satellite campus of this huge church, hiding out in the back row, while the pastor preached over the screen about how much he loved the congregation.

When he said, “I may not know your name, but I love you and pray for you everyday!” my critical side came out. (Which is a problem. I’m working on it.)

I sat there thinking: “Right. You love us but you don’t even know our name. Do you even know what love is?! Look at the definition of love! Patience. Kindness. Gentleness. Maybe you feel an emotional connection, but I don’t think it’s possible to really love us if you don’t know us!”

Maybe I’m totally off my rocker here, but it seemed weird to me.

When the pastor finished preaching, the campus pastor got up, continuing on this track: “He really means it when he says he loves you. This screen may be the closest you ever get to him, but he really loves you.”

(Cue collective gasp.)

Jen looked at me with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Tiffany, I think they really love us! Let’s go see if they really love us!”

So we walked out into the lobby. And we just stood there.

One minute. Two. Three. I lost count, but it felt like forever.

NOT ONE PERSON SAID HELLO.

I know, I know. We could have said hi. But we were curious if anyone would approach us first.

Finally Jen awkwardly laughed, “Okay, I feel really loved. But let’s go now.” (I was more than ready!)

It became an experiment that we conducted in churches across the country. Over and over, NO ONE SAID HELLO!!

I couldn’t believe it! Shouldn’t churches be the friendliest places on earth, because we’re filled with God’s love and welcome for people? So why doesn’t anyone say hello??

That made me step back and think:

When I’m at my home church, do I say hello?

Do I actively seek out new faces and welcome them? Or are people coming in and out of my church without anyone saying a word to them?

Because really it all comes down to each of us doing our part. If I stand back and wait for someone else to do something, it’ll never get done. And plus, how can I find fault if I’m not willing to be part of the solution?

So my first Sunday back from tour, I promptly joined the hospitality team at my church. I want to be a smiling, genuinely welcoming face at the door, who will stop and talk with people. On Sundays I try to notice if there are new faces sitting around me so I can talk to them. (Plus, it’s great for meeting people and making new friends.)

Today was my first day on hospitality team, and I met SO MANY PEOPLE!! I had no idea half these people even went to my church! Not only was I having a ball, but I hope people truly felt welcomed.

Okay so there was a redeeming quality to this experiment:

We were getting really depressed with the results, but on our very last Sunday of tour, we were visiting this church outside of Detroit, MI. This older lady called to us from all the way across the parking lot, “Aren’t these shoes HOT?! I just got them!!” (They were truly hot stilettos! I wanted them.)

She drew us right into her conversation, introduced us to people, the pastor came over to say hi, and we had never felt so welcomed. Jen and I just stared at each other in disbelief.

Finally we had found a church that says hello.

And that’s the kind of church I want to be.

Why I love Rochester…and my church

My friends back in Albany, NY often ask, “Tiffany, seriously. What’s so great about Rochester? Why would you rather be in Rochester than Albany?”

Okay, so Rochester itself is pretty cool. It’s artsy, lots to do (especially in summer), and is home to Wegmans grocery stores. But I get it. It’s not NYC. It’s not San Diego. It wastes nine of its precious months on winter. (Personally, I think the designers of Rochester should have built the city in a southern state with no snow, but that’s beside the point.)

If I’m being honest, I’ve tried to get out of Rochester for years. I’ve prayed for God to send me anywhere — anywhere! — except for here. (And except for Canada, Alaska, or Antarctica. So anywhere without yearlong winters.)

And then about three years ago…my prayers started changing. Rochester began to feel like home. Why?

Because I fell in love.

No, c’mon people, it’s not a boy. It’s my church.

The five reasons I love my church so much that I would live in winter-hugging Rochester:

5) Saturday morning prayer is probably my favorite time of the week. (Or one of my favorites, anyway.) I love, love, love the unhurried flow of worship.

4) You never know what’s going to happen during the services. It’s like my obsession with spy adventures put into a church setting. Sometimes crazy things happen, which is fun, exciting, and one of my favorite things ever! You never know what to expect, and I love that.

3) We hang out and eat together after church. Sometimes (like last week) we even had pony rides along with the cook out (as you can see from the picture above). Ummm….yes, please!!

2) I love the feeling of community — grabbing coffee with friends before church starts, meeting new people after service, exclaiming over each other’s adorable outfits… I love that.

1) It’s the worship though that really gets me every time. So real, raw, vulnerable… It stirs your soul, facilitates an environment to focus on the Lord, encourages you to pursue God alongside other people. There’s simply nothing quite like it.

So for all my friends who ask me, “Why on earth do you love Rochester so much — of all places?” Well…there you have it. It’s because of my church.

(But if Rochester were to relocate to southern California, I would have no objections.)

There Is Room Enough

“So spacious is He, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in Him without crowding,” Colossians 1:18-20, MSG.

Chills trickled up and down my spine as Pastor David read this beautiful Scripture during church today.

We all look for space, a place to belong. And with God, there is room enough. There’s no crowding.

God is bigger than I could ever comprehend.

This is something I’ve been contemplating all year, ever since reading my friend Nate’s blog post on this topic. I had to ask myself: Have I forgotten how big God is?

There is a place for each of us. We are each a part of the body, knit together. And God is so huge, so big, and so spacious, that there is room for each part of that body to function as it was created to function.

It makes me think: There is no room for competition in the Kingdom of God. For that, there is not room enough.

Interestingly enough, the times I feel claustrophobic are the times I’m trying to live as a body part I am not meant to be. The times I’m trying to live in someone else’s gift and calling.

But when I live as the part of the body God created me to be, there is room enough. The horizons are wide.

There is no need for competition, because God is bigger than I could ever imagine.

Discouragement

My pastor’s wife saw me at church on Sunday and ran over to hug me. She said, “Tiffany, this week I had on my heart to pray against discouragement in your life! I felt like God wanted me to tell you that if you’re feeling discouraged, it’s NOT because you aren’t supposed to be doing this [speaking/traveling]; it’s because the discouragement is part of the journey.”

It had been a rough week for me, full of discouragement that didn’t end until I got on my face and had a heart to heart with God. Friday night I spent a couple hours in my church’s beautiful prayer room, and He restored my soul.

On my way to the prayer room I got to drive towards a huge, beautiful rainbow. I saw this guy standing in the rain on the side of the highway just to get a picture of it, and was touched by how far he’d go to capture the rainbow. The thought came to me: Even when I’m standing in the rain, I can still be marveling at God’s promises and faithfulness.

Yes, discouragement may be a part of the journey. But, as my pastor’s wife encouraged me, my feeling of discouragement doesn’t change the fact that God is faithful. It doesn’t mean I should give up what God has put on my heart to do.

Awake dreaming

So much has been happening lately; it leaves me breathlessly trying to keep up, and excitedly unable to sleep! Once I heard a preacher say it’s good to have dreams that keep you awake at night. I feel like that every night! – Like a kid who’s going to the amusement park tomorrow and can’t fall asleep for day-dreaming about it.

So here’s what’s been going on and keeping me awake at night:

• Turned in my master’s thesis – woohoo!
• Studying for my music therapy board exam, which is in less than 2 weeks
• Playing at my AMAZING church that I freaking LOVE!!!!!!!! (Father’s House Downtown Campus)
• Sent my book “The Insatiable Quest for Beauty” in to my editor!!!!!!
• Have super talented people working with me on cover design and a brochure for the book
• Co-writing a free, downloadable small group workbook with my friend Moriah so small groups can use the book
• Getting the book website up and going, along with filming video coffee date interviews to be posted on the site
• Graduating with my master’s in 3 weeks!!!!!!! And then focusing on the book and speaking!!!!!!!
• Working on some awesome, awesome job opportunities that have presented themselves
• Moving into my new, beautiful apartment in 6 weeks
• Getting ready to start marketing my book once it comes out – and waiting rather impatiently!

It’s like I’m dreaming, but I’m awake. Like my whole life is this incredible dream that I get to live. I am so blessed, so excited, so………indescribably anticipating all God has for this next chapter of life! SO EXCITED. I’m wide awake, and I’m totally dreaming.