These are posts written while I was traveling on a speaking tour. I hope you find them interesting, encouraging, and possibly hilarious.
Last night I was feeling overwhelmed by loneliness, I had to remind myself: “I don’t have to live by my feelings.” This is just a feeling, and it too shall pass. I am not defined by this feeling. I do not have to make choices based on this feeling (aka, going crazy in my head). It is just a feeling, a natural part of life, and it will not last forever. And then I started asking: “What’s the treasure in this darkness?”
I feel like laughing and crying! 😂 Suitcase is packed and Tour #5 begins in just 2 hours! It’s so bittersweet… The sweetness of my last solo tour, just me and God in this Father-daughter adventure. The sadness is leaving my fiancé for 2 months, and awaiting the tours I will begin doing WITH him after we get married this summer!! So I’m both laughing and crying inside and sometimes outside. And I’m overwhelmed by the goodness of God that I’ve known so far along this journey, as well as His faithfulness that is waiting for me in my future.
Just wanted to share this, because it made me happy. 🙂 The Athens Banner Herald wrote up a sweet article/interview on tomorrow night’s Quest for Beauty event in Athens, Georgia. If you’re in the area, you should totally join us!! 🙂
Can I just say that I love Chick-Fil-A?
In fact, I may or may not have enjoyed their grilled nuggets approximately five times in the last ten days… Is that bad?
God’s been changing my heart…that it’s not about making it big, or tweeting 5,000,000 times a day, or having enough Instagram followers, or packing my schedule a certain amount of fullness…not that there’s anything wrong with those things, but it’s not about those things at all…instead, life is about coming closer to Him.
Just a Sunday afternoon song for y’all…
I’ve spent the past week traipsing around New England — Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and now Rhode Island. Autumn is bursting into glory as I start on Tour #3. And I have to share how my heart is bursting too, because of two things God has been teaching me:
Whenever I start thinking about this tour as if it’s all about speaking (i.e. a “speaking venture” or even “ministry”), I get all flustered and overwhelmed, and start thinking, “What the heck am I doing? Who do I think I am? I can’t do this! I’m so far out of my league! What if I fail? What if I can’t do this? I can’t do this!”
But the past few days, when I start freaking out, I’ve been learning to stop and remember: “Wait. This tour isn’t about speaking; it’s all about going on an adventure with God! It’s another Father-daughter journey together. The goal isn’t to see how many places I can speak; it’s to spend quality time with Him, and get to know Him more.” And when I think about it that way, I’m filled with peace, joy, and excitement!
When I told my mom this, she said, “Isn’t that how all our lives are?” Each of us has a unique adventure we’re living with God, and our adventures all look different from each other, but they’re all the same thing: an adventure with God, heading closer to Him.
When I go to speak somewhere, it’s like I’m a 3-year-old kid who’s sitting down beside a concert master to play the tiniest piece of this gorgeous duet. Whether or not I make a mistake isn’t a big deal, because all pressure to make the piece sound good falls on the master. He’s going to weave the piece skillfully together into something beautiful, and I just get the incredible opportunity to play with Him!
And yes, He’ll teach me how to become a better pianist, but ultimately He’s in no hurry, because what He wants to teach me more than anything is how to play WITH HIM.
After all, even if I became the best pianist (or, speaker in my case) in this world, I’d still be speaking like a 3-year-old when compared with my Teacher.
The pressure that has fallen off my shoulders as God teaches me these two things, is incredible.
Jen (my intern) and I were at the satellite campus of this huge church, hiding out in the back row, while the pastor preached over the screen about how much he loved the congregation.
When he said, “I may not know your name, but I love you and pray for you everyday!” my critical side came out. (Which is a problem. I’m working on it.)
I sat there thinking: “Right. You love us but you don’t even know our name. Do you even know what love is?! Look at the definition of love! Patience. Kindness. Gentleness. Maybe you feel an emotional connection, but I don’t think it’s possible to really love us if you don’t know us!”
Maybe I’m totally off my rocker here, but it seemed weird to me.
When the pastor finished preaching, the campus pastor got up, continuing on this track: “He really means it when he says he loves you. This screen may be the closest you ever get to him, but he really loves you.”
(Cue collective gasp.)
Jen looked at me with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Tiffany, I think they really love us! Let’s go see if they really love us!”
So we walked out into the lobby. And we just stood there.
One minute. Two. Three. I lost count, but it felt like forever.
I know, I know. We could have said hi. But we were curious if anyone would approach us first.
Finally Jen awkwardly laughed, “Okay, I feel really loved. But let’s go now.” (I was more than ready!)
It became an experiment that we conducted in churches across the country. Over and over, NO ONE SAID HELLO!!
I couldn’t believe it! Shouldn’t churches be the friendliest places on earth, because we’re filled with God’s love and welcome for people? So why doesn’t anyone say hello??
That made me step back and think:
Do I actively seek out new faces and welcome them? Or are people coming in and out of my church without anyone saying a word to them?
Because really it all comes down to each of us doing our part. If I stand back and wait for someone else to do something, it’ll never get done. And plus, how can I find fault if I’m not willing to be part of the solution?
So my first Sunday back from tour, I promptly joined the hospitality team at my church. I want to be a smiling, genuinely welcoming face at the door, who will stop and talk with people. On Sundays I try to notice if there are new faces sitting around me so I can talk to them. (Plus, it’s great for meeting people and making new friends.)
Today was my first day on hospitality team, and I met SO MANY PEOPLE!! I had no idea half these people even went to my church! Not only was I having a ball, but I hope people truly felt welcomed.
We were getting really depressed with the results, but on our very last Sunday of tour, we were visiting this church outside of Detroit, MI. This older lady called to us from all the way across the parking lot, “Aren’t these shoes HOT?! I just got them!!” (They were truly hot stilettos! I wanted them.)
She drew us right into her conversation, introduced us to people, the pastor came over to say hi, and we had never felt so welcomed. Jen and I just stared at each other in disbelief.
And that’s the kind of church I want to be.
May 1st, how glad I am to see you! Particularly the sunshine you’ve brought to Albany.
Yes, friends, I am back in Albany now! And it’s been a whirlwind already.
Monday afternoon Jen and I traipsed through Canada (trying out “New York Fries,” which was strange since I didn’t know we had any famous fries, and — to be honest — they weren’t all that good), then crossing into Buffalo, where we parted ways…
When I got to my parents house in Albany, I walked upstairs to set my bags in my old bedroom…only to see THIS:
Apparently three months is too long…I’ve been replaced by a greenhouse! My family has even dubbed this room “The Garden Room.” Sounds so much fancier than it is.
Am I staying in this room? Um, NO. I have far too many belongings. I picked my bags back up and stole a different bedroom.
Tuesday morning I was woken by my dad letting me know that Grandma had to have emergency surgery. Thank God I was home for that! I spent the day with her, which was actually a ton of fun. When we prayed before surgery, I was like, “Thank you God for this fun day with Grandma.” Dad started cracking up and pointed accusingly at Gram, “She’s YOUR granddaughter, you know!” which had Grandma in “stitches” as she would say.
Surgery went well, but Gram can’t see well for a few weeks. So the day after I moved into my parents’ house for the summer, Grandma moved in…
…to our beautiful, new-fangled luxury suite: “The Garden Room.”
I’ve pretty much finished unpacking now and started substitute teaching again, bringing in some extra income, always working to pay off these seemingly endless college loans (ugh) and for some much-needed redesign work my friend is doing this summer.
So the plans for now? I’ll be based in Albany until the beginning of September, working as much as possible, speaking as little as possible (break times are needed so I never stop loving speaking), revising my old book, writing my new book, getting new merch ready, and working with my fabulous Booking Coordinator Joanna to get the fall and spring tours ready.
Welcome home, and welcome Spring! We even have a Garden Room in which to enjoy your short-lived company.
Tiffany Dawn 
