Is He Worth Dating: A Cautionary Tale

I’m a sucker for romantic comedies. I especially love the ones where the woman is clearly blind and doesn’t see that he’s the one. Open your eyes, lady! He’s everything you want and need…and more! Can’t you see that he’s madly in love with you? ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?! And then, when she finally realizes that the man of her dreams is right in front of her, I just want to start throwing up some praise hands. I mean, can I get an AMEN? 🙌

How many of you wish that real life was like a romantic comedy? There ain’t no shame – I’m married and I’m still raising my hand. If real life was like a romantic comedy, it would have saved me a lot of heartache and unhappiness. I could have skipped those horrible years with the wrong guys and spent 10 wonderful years with my stud husband. The five years before I started dating Ryan were some of the worst, but they shaped me into who I am today.

(Read: What to Look for in a Guy.)

I spent more time than I care to admit dating the wrong guy.

My self-esteem was low, my standards were low, and I thought myself lucky when I actually landed a cute guy. You can imagine the types I attracted. And the worst part was that I was a fixer. I never turned down a project. I’m sure that no one is surprised that none of this yielded happiness and joy. I found myself angry, defeated, and depressed. These men never built me up. They didn’t make me feel special or beautiful or loved. I was torn down for not being good enough. I was cheated on. I was threatened. I was propositioned in the most demeaning of ways. These men were not worth dating, and I was too blind to see.

If only dating was easy. I wish there was a radar for unworthy suitors – some sort of alarm that goes off to warn you to proceed at your own risk.

“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.'” – 1 Corinthians 15:33

(Watch: 4 Signs of a Bad Dating Relationship.)

If you want to know if he’s a good guy to date, ask yourself these questions:

  • Does he build me up in hard times?
  • Am I able to be myself when he’s around?
  • Does he make me a better person?
  • Does he bring me closer to God?

There is a reason we lean on the Lord in troubled times. He will show us the way and guide us down the right path. He knows what we need most, and He will bring to light the most perfectly imperfect partner.

(Watch: How We Found “The One.”)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6


Kimmie Plummer wants other women to know they are not alone. Her life is perfectly imperfect, filled with coffee and a whole lot of Jesus. She spends most of her days with her best friend & husband, Ryan, and their sweet little boy, Everett, playing with trucks and singing her best impressions of Elmo. When she’s not singing (off-key) and playing trucks, you can find her at Target, trying not to buy the whole store. Follow her on Instagram at @kplummahhh.



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