Being single in middle school didn’t seem like a big deal.
I remember sleepovers with friends, talking about the perfect guy we’d meet in college, and what our dream wedding would be like. In fact, dating didn’t even cross my mind in middle school, because, of course, I would meet “the one” when I got to college…
Fast forward to sophomore year of high school, and suddenly the thought of “waiting until college to date” had completely escaped my mind. I thought I had found my high school sweetheart and began to dream about our future.
But I didn’t just spend my time dreaming; I also spent it justifying the red flags I saw in my relationship. It took awhile, but eventually I stopped justifying. It was an incredibly tough decision, but I decided to end the relationship.
At the time, I couldn’t believe I was actually doing that! But now, months later, I have grown to appreciate being single, even when it’s not easy.
Part of me wished I had waited until college to date, and wanted to live in regret, but I’ve gained a greater appreciation for the time I have in front of me to be single. And today I’d love to share a few of the things I’ve learned so far!
1. You can enjoy high school while being single.
While I did make some good memories while I was dating, I also realized that I passed up some opportunities to hang out with close friends and family, because I already had plans with my boyfriend. Although he seemed more important at the time, I realized that I not only missed getting to do some really cool things with friends, but I also hurt them in the process.
I discovered that, unless it is a serious relationship with the intent of marriage, family and long-term friends should be more important than your boyfriend. At the end of the day, family will always be there but your boyfriend may not. I’m thankful for the times I chose to either hang out with family or invite my boyfriend to come along.
2. Being single isn’t always easy.
As soon as I broke up with my boyfriend, I wanted to be in another relationship. I knew that wouldn’t be good for me, but I constantly found myself questioning myself: Did I make the right decision? Am I ready for another relationship? After a lot of prayer, I made the decision to not date until college.
While it was not an easy decision and is something I struggle with, it’s not impossible!
I have learned not to surround myself with things that make being single harder. Sometimes I have to skip a certain song or choose not to see a certain movie because I know it will just make my decision harder emotionally. Instead, I choose to do devotions, call a good friend, go for a run, or just eat chocolate 😉 when I start questioning if I should be single right now.
3. Singleness is a gift.
As I typed that, I realized this is probably the first time I’ve ever written that: Singleness is a gift. This is something I am beginning to understand.
Singleness allows you to figure out who you are. You have time to just enjoy life without being committed to someone else.
Many times singleness is not viewed as a gift, but I’m starting to see in my own life how much of a gift it actually is!
I have a confession to make:
- I’m crazy involved in high school and church, and I have a great group of girl friends who love to hang out and eat sushi, spend time traveling, and look at colleges.
- I’ve had my heart broken and still struggle with that at times.
- But I’m learning and loving how much singleness can be a blessing!
There are still nights when I cry, but I’ve realized there are so many moments in life when I don’t even realize I’m single because I’m enjoying life so much!
So my confession: While I can’t say I never think about my future husband…being single isn’t as terrible as we sometimes make it out to be. It’s actually pretty great!
Instead of allowing your season of singleness to be a time of complaining, be thankful for the time you have to find out who you are and grow in your walk with God.
Peyton Goss is a junior in high school who stays busy doing anything from reading and playing sports to snorkeling in the Florida Keys and traveling. She is very involved in church and school. She leads devotions with middle school girls and absolutely loves it! Any free time she has is spent drinking coffee, hanging with friends, or eating sushi.