I’ve spent so much time asking God for more, instead of thanking Him for what I have.
My prayers often center around this American mentality of “more, more, more.”
- Please, God, more YouTube followers.
- Please, God, more speaking engagements.
- Please, God, more Instagram followers.
- Then I can glorify You more. (Or, at least, that’s the reason I give. Even if it’s not the truest motivation of my heart.)
There’s nothing wrong with asking for more; in fact, God often challenges us to ask for more — to ask for something so far beyond our own strength that obviously we could never get there on our own. Then we obviously need Him, and only He can fulfill that crazy huge dream. I really believe He delights in that.
But sometimes my heart is full of selfish ambition when I ask for “more.”
- Sometimes I want more because I want to feel more important.
- I want to feel seen.
- I want to feel like what I’m doing matters.
- And I think that bigger numbers will help me get there.
Lately God has been challenging me with these thoughts: Am I thanking Him for what I already have? And what makes me think that higher numbers equals greater impact? Do I want what He wants for this ministry, or what I want for this ministry?
[Read “One Small Finger.” Summary: How often I am tempted to despise the “small things” in search of the “big things.” Again and again I realize: God never does.]
Recently my husband and I listened to a Seth Godin business podcast. And I felt like God really spoke to me through it and changed my heart, specifically about my YouTube channel.
For the past few months, I’ve been praying for more followers as I’ve started up this YouTube channel. But recently I’ve been feeling like something wasn’t right in my heart about my prayers. Then I heard Seth Godin’s blog. Seth said something like this:
“Can you reach a tribe of 9 people? If not, then what makes you think you can reach 5,000? Reaching a bigger audience doesn’t make it easier; it just makes it the same. The goal is simply to engage with people who trust you and deliver them something of value and make enough money to do it again.”
As I listened, I felt like God started changing my heart.
Instead of worrying about how many followers I don’t have, I need to fully embrace and love on the followers I do have.
I have 359 YouTube subscribers as of this morning. That’s tiny, tiny, tiny in the world of YouTube. But I pray for those girls and could cry just thinking about how much love God has put in my heart for them.
I want to make the best possible videos I can for them. I want to see them follow Jesus with all their hearts, and know at their core just how loved they are.
And even if I never have more than 359 followers…I still want to do this. I still want to make these videos for them. I hear from many of my YouTube girls about how much these videos are encouraging and touching them. I realize that this is exactly what I’m supposed to do right now.
And that makes me think: Maybe I’m supposed to ask for a different kind of “more.” More love. More impact on the people I am reaching. More of Jesus in my life. More people to rise up and reach out to the lost.
And yes, maybe I am still supposed to ask for a wider circle of influence, for more followers…but even more than that, I should be asking God to help me faithfully serve those He’s entrusted me with.