You basically can’t get much more newlywed than us, so friends keep asking what our most shocking discovery of marriage has been thus far, and each time we say:
We can’t sleep while cuddling!
At least not yet. James’s body is just SO WARM, it’s like my own space heater! So at first I’m curled up next to him, shaking with cold, but then next thing you know I’m throwing off the covers from what feels like heat stroke!
(And James does not like when I throw off the covers. He likes his covers to be like “lasagna,” with every layer pulled up nice and high, and so he starts asking why I’m messing up his “lasagna.”) (Only he would describe his cover arrangements as one of his favorite meals.)
It was also shocking to discover just how hard it is to even SLEEP in the same full size bed. Who knew that’s just not a lot of space?! We’re more used to it now, but for the first month of our marriage, we didn’t sleep much. Anytime someone rolled over, we were both awake.
Anyway. Despite those shocking discoveries, I think I speak for both of us when I say that we have LOVED our first few months of marriage, and are more excited than ever about spending the rest of our lives together.
So this morning sitting here at my high top kitchen table underneath our homemade chalkboard (feels like I wake up to Starbucks in my home every day, oh happiness!) — I was praying for my husband and our marriage, because…
I think that one way to bless our marriage is to pray over it from the start.
So we pray together every night (my favorite part of each day — while cuddling in bed, before his “lasagna” is messed up), and then I’m trying to also pray specifically for our marriage on my own. After all, why wait until it’s hard before asking for God’s blessing on our marriage? Why not start now and see what God will do?
So today my prayers got me thinking about faithfulness to your spouse over the course of your life, and somehow this thought popped into my head. It’s something I’ve read and heard about many, many times (like in Gary Thomas’s book “Sacred Marriage” — so good!!), but for some reason it clicked in a new way today:
Faithfulness to your spouse is about being faithful to God.
It just hit me in a different way. I’ve always known that once I made that covenant relationship of marriage before God, I was required out of obedience to God to remain faithful to my husband. (Of course, I know there are times when separation in marriage becomes necessary due to abuse; I’m not talking about that here.)
But I realized today that marital faithfulness isn’t JUST about being obedient; it’s also an active way of loving God, and remaining faithful to Him.
When James and I face a really tough time in our marriage, our motivation to be faithful to each other could be small, but the beautiful thing is: When we are faithful to our spouse, we’re also being faithful to God.
In those moments, I think faithfulness will become about God, and our relationship with Him.
And that is the greatest motivation of all.
Even now, as we are just three baby-step months into a lifetime together, and pumped full of marital enthusiasm; before we’ve experienced the trials that come with difficult life events and the sleepless nights that come with children; I can begin to look at this lifetime commitment through the lens of pleasing the Lord — as yet another way of loving Him.
Maybe marital faithfulness, even more than being a commitment to my spouse, is a commitment first and foremost to God.