I’ve been struggling through some insecurities that have been resurfacing in my heart lately, and have found myself way more emotional than usual. (My poor mother and boyfriend, with the phone calls they’ve been getting. :)) But the past few days have been just the sweetest times with the Lord, realizing that I need to let Him speak into these insecurities, because He’s the only One who really can…and remembering He loves to speak life into me, because I’m His daughter. Here are a couple things I journaled today, that were beautiful reminders to me:
I know this earth is but a film-strip negative of what’s to come, just the dimmest, most distorted mirror, like ripples on the water.
I know we’re just creatures, made in the image of a Creator.
I know we’re all clay creations that crumble and crack, that break into dust, and that the real being will emerge in the dying.
I know this is like craving a counterfeit rather than reality, and yet here I am.
Maybe if I can’t have what I’m craving, that will lead me to pursue what’s heavenly. And maybe that’s the blessing in what seems to be a curse.
Because here’s what I’m finding: Beauty comes from brokenness. Even in the words on a paper or the music from a heart disheveled, that’s where beauty is found.
Not so much in the perfect. Perhaps earthly perfection can be beautiful, but doesn’t give birth to more beauty. It just is. Static. Slowly fading and crumbling.
But brokenness gives birth to beauty.
And journaling this led me back to the chapter I’ve been living in this year: Psalm 139.
And to the song I’ve been breathing the past couple weeks: “Come to Me” by Bethel.