Let me introduce you to my friend Rayni. We met via the blogger world, and then actually grabbed coffee together this spring, while I was in her neck of the woods: beautiful San Diego, CA! She is seriously the sweetest person ever, and I had to ask her to share some of her wisdom in a guest post. This is also a guest post for the resource page of my Boycrazy book, but I wanted to share it with you here as well. Without further ado…Rayni Peavy!
I didn’t date a lot as a teen or young adult. Sure, I went on some dates and there were always guys I was interested in. But for the most part the guys I liked didn’t like me back; and the guys I didn’t like were interested in me. Has that happened to you? Talk about frustrating!
Here’s a little more of my story…
In high school I was a “good kid”. I didn’t party or drink or sneak out. I had close friends who were similar to me. I grew up believing in Jesus but I wasn’t very grounded in church.
Then I got to college and one of my new friends was someone who partied a lot. Somehow she and I made friends with the fraternity across the street from our dorm and started regularly going to parties. All of a sudden I was flirting in overdrive, drinking too much, and staying out till the early morning hours.
In some ways it seemed fun but it also left me feeling increasingly empty inside.
The more guys I kissed, the lonelier I felt.
I knew that something needed to change and instinctively, I knew it had to do with needing more of God in my life.
I started going to church again, reading the Bible for myself for the first time and began falling in love with Jesus. I can remember one day specifically when I was filled with this overwhelming joy. I had never experienced anything like it before. I knew it was a joy that only God can give.
While I was increasingly becoming aware of God’s love, presence and peace, the allure of the party lifestyle grew less appealing and just didn’t interest me anymore.
Going to a party isn’t a bad thing, of course, but the type of partying I had been doing wasn’t what I wanted to keep doing any longer.
Though I kissed a lot of guys in college, by God’s grace I managed to not have sex until I got married. If I hadn’t, I think it would have been so intensely emotionally wounding for me. Because God made sex to be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage, when we go outside of that design, we get hurt.
God isn’t a killjoy wanting to burden us with lots of rules to take the fun out of life. God always wants the best for us; so when we go beyond the boundaries of the wisdom of His design, that’s when we can get hurt.
As a 36-year-old woman who has been through that whole party scene, I want to communicate to you from my heart that YOU are SO cherished by God AND you’re worth waiting for. Period.
I feel confident in saying that any guy who can’t see that and pressures you for something more, is not the guy for you.
Any guy who belittles you with his words or actions isn’t worthy of your time.
So, I have a few questions to ask you…
- Do you feel emotionally wounded from a past relationship?
- Do you feel ashamed because of something you’ve done or something that was done to you?
- Do you feel pressured to get more physical in a relationship that you feel comfortable doing?
God is big enough and kind enough and loving enough to heal all of your hurts and forgive all of your mistakes.
And if you have had sex before you’re married, He’s not waiting to hammer you over the head in disgust. Neither am I. He wants to heal your heart and bring you close to Him.
I love this verse from the Old Testament:
“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
God is with you AND He’s singing over you. Can you picture that? The Creator of everything that will ever exist is rejoicing over you right now! He takes delight in you! No. Matter. What.
Can I pray for you?
God, You are loving, gracious, kind and accepting. Nothing we could ever do, good or bad, can separate us from Your love. I pray for each young woman who is reading this right now. I pray that you will make Yourself known to her in such a special way; that she’ll know how much You love her and special she is to you. Heal her from past hurts and help her to make wise decisions as she walks into her future. Thank you for her precious life. In Jesus’ Name…Amen.
Rayni Peavy is a writer and speaker bringing a message of hope, freedom and fullness of life. With a passion for healthy relationships, she encourages others to live out the abundant life Jesus offers. Rayni is author of the new book Ten Marriage Lessons From a Semi-Newlywed (available on Amazon). She is also a regular contributor for Start Marriage Right and Christian Mingle. In her free time Rayni enjoys being near the ocean, learning to speak French, and exploring new cuisine with her super cute foodie husband. Find more blogs, podcasts and videos about relationships and faith at RayniPeavy.com.