Come Find Me

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There’s something buried deep inside every woman’s soul:

A longing for someone to come find her. For someone who wants to know her so much, that he will come looking, even if she runs away.

Over the years, I’ve buried that desire for someone to come find me — and kept burying it deeper and deeper until I almost forgot it existed. I’ve crossed my arms and feigned indifference when guys half-heartedly pursued me, but that little-girl heart inside has been calling all the time, “Come find me. Someone. Look deep down inside to search out who I really am — not the super outgoing, put-together girl I want you to see, but me. Come find ME.

Sometimes it seemed like guys lost interest when I got quiet, when my super-outgoing side faded and the introvert came out (because, shocking as it may seem, being around people drains me, but being alone revives me). I wrote a song one year in college to express what I longed for a man to tell me:

I will pursue you, even in the silence

I want to know you when no one is around

Did you know I love you? Everything about you

You have my full attention, you’ve captivated me

Friday night I remembered all of this.

Dolled up for Friday night's wedding :)

Dolled up for Friday night’s wedding 🙂

My boyfriend (James) and I went to a beautiful, lakeside wedding. As we danced the night away, I had to take a breather. James had his moves like Jagger going on the dance floor (no, seriously, he’s SUCH a good dancer!) as I walked off to the building with restrooms, a little ways from the reception.

In the quiet darkness, arms tight around my chest, I was feeling a lot of things, including this unbidden desire to have someone who would notice if I walked away, someone who would come looking for me, just because he wanted to.

As I walked back out of the restroom a few minutes later, there in the darkness stood James.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

His simple response: “I came to find you.

It did something inside me — to that little-girl part of my heart, the part that’s still honest about what it longs for. When I walked out of that bathroom, the little girl inside me thought, “You came for me. You came to find me!”

I’ve thought back on that moment over and over, and can’t help thinking about the way Someone else also came to find me too.

When I was buried under piles of my own failures, shame, and sin…

When I had given up hoping that someone would come looking for me…

When I decided I wasn’t worth the rescue…

He came.

He didn’t just find me at a wedding; He braved heaven and hell, life and death, giving everything He possessed to find me. He didn’t just travel to the ends of the earth; He traveled to the ends of eternity.

His Father sent Him to come after you and me, so that His Father could also be our Father. He who would pay any price in all eternity, even the life of His own Son, to buy our freedom, to uncover what was broken inside, and to bring us back to where He is.

Deep in my heart, all these years, I hadn’t just been asking, “Someone, come find me.”

Really, deep down, I’d been saying, “Daddy, come find me.” 

And He did. When His Son died on the cross 2,000 years ago, and many years and days and moments in-between, He’s come to find me, because He says I’m always worth the rescue.

That song I wrote long ago, I discovered has a double meaning. Because it’s not just a man who would sing that to me; it’s my heavenly Father who will sing:

I will pursue you, even in the silence

I want to know you when no one is around

Did you know I love you? Everything about you

You have My full attention; you’ve captivated Me

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