Dear Single Lady,
Valentine’s Day has come.
The day we turn off Instagram so we don’t see the bouquets every other girl has received.
The ever-present reminder that we — out of all the other people in the world — are still single.
The day we party with girlfriends, pretending to forget our relationship status on Facebook.
The day we hide every hope and dream under a thick layer of sarcasm and cynicism, pretending we don’t really care.
My friend and travel buddy Jen woke me up this morning in Knoxville, where we’re speaking for the next few days, with a, “Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!” I had forgotten again what day it was; everything blends together when you’re on tour. As I took a shower the idea popped into my head:
If I were to write a letter to all my fellow single ladies out there, what would I say?
And then a prayer formed: “Lord, what would you have me say?”
Girls, here’s what I long to share with you, the truths that have brought comfort to my soul:
Our dreams of romance and forever love are beautiful desires.
They’re not something we have to discard to pretend we’re happy being single. They’re something to celebrate and surrender.
But our dream of a happily ever after starts NOW, not later.
We’ve heard this a hundred times, but it’s true! All my life I waited for my husband, thinking life and happiness would really start when he showed up. (Preferably wrapped in a sparkly, pink package labeled: “To Tiffany. From God. Contains ‘The One.'”) I didn’t see the moments I was already living as truly happy, truly full. Why?
Because I didn’t trust my heavenly Father.
If there’s one thing I long for all of you to know, it’s this:
The One who holds our future in His hands — He is GOOD.
I never trusted God. I didn’t really think He cared for me, not enough, anyway. I thought, “Surely You need my help finding my husband. Surely I need to take this in my own hands and stress and worry about it!” But the truth is…He is GOOD. And He is SOVEREIGN.
I’m not saying we should hide in our houses and never go outside. I mean, c’mon, if you completely hibernated, you’d have no job, no relationships, no life. But at the same time, we don’t need to worry.
Matthew 6 says not to worry about tomorrow, but to live fully today, knowing the One who holds our future. Knowing He cares even for the birds of the air enough to feed and house them; how much more does He care for us.
Today is so different than other Valentine’s Days I’ve experienced.
Most of my life I’ve written a sappy, sobbing love letter to my future husband. That’s great, but it didn’t help my heart very much. I just found myself focused on what I didn’t have, when I should have been focused on what I did have.
Friends. Family. Job. Passion. Joy.
And above all else, I had a heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, who is sovereign over all of life, and who sees me. Who knows me. Who loves me. More deeply and fully than I could ever imagine.
So to all you single ladies, this is what I would say:
Your heavenly Father sees these beautiful, hidden desires of your heart. In fact, He placed them there.
They’re not wrong, they’re not something to be ashamed of; they’re something to celebrate.
But He also sees beyond our time frame. He sees the whole picture, a greater plan. His ways are higher than ours. And right here, right now, even in the waiting, we can rejoice in what we already have.
We can rejoice knowing the One who holds our hearts is faithful, trustworthy, and loves us more than we can ever imagine.
I want to close by sharing my song “Someday” with you. (You can download it for free here.)
We serve a King who loves us, sees us, and knows us. A King who has all resources at His disposal. A King who has a strategy. We are His daughters and we live in His kingdom. Right where we are, we are already spoken for. We are already safe with Him.
Happy Valentine’s day to each of you! I pray that today you would come closer than ever before to your heavenly Father, and know that He cares for you.
He’s already given you a happily ever after. It’s already started. It’s up to us that we live in it.