“I love that outfit on you!”
“Those shoes are seriously the cutest things ever.”
“Oh my gosh, your hair looks so awesome!”
That’s me on a day to day basis. I LOVE noticing people’s clothes and complimenting them. And there is nothing wrong with that! It often gives people a pick-me-up during the day.
But sometimes I have to ask myself — are outward appearances the only thing I compliment people on? Because they shouldn’t be.
What about compliments like:
- “I love your contagious passion.”
- “You are hilarious.”
- “The way you serve people around you inspires me.”
- “Look at how you’re making a difference in that person’s life.”
- “Your faith encourages me to stay strong.”
Welcome to Fat Talk Free Week!!!
A week to remember that “friends don’t let friends fat talk.”
Today is compliment day. A day to think about the cultural values we reinforce in ways as subtle as…you got it…our compliments.
Sometimes in our culture we compliment people based on weight. For example, “You are so skinny, that outfit looks great on you!” Well doesn’t that just reinforce our cultural idea that skinny is better?
Or what about “She’s so pretty. I want to be like her.” I have seriously heard my friends say this, and it confuses me. I’m like, “You want to be like her just cause she’s pretty?? You don’t even know her! Is she making a positive difference in the world around her, or is she just another pretty face?” It’s great to have a pretty face, but that’s not role model material in and of itself. There has to be more.
How many times do our compliments only focus on surface appearances rather than on the things that really matter?
So here’s a week to take a pause and think about the things we say.
Are we reinforcing impossible cultural ideas in the compliments we give?
Or are we truly encouraging and inspiring people to be a person who makes a difference in the world — not just a person who looks a certain way.